I'm literally nodding off as i
dafkjdklf;a999999999999999999....whoops, I meant I am falling
asleepjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj huh? what? oh, where was I? O.K. Falling asleep at my keyboard. Apparently, I haven't recovered since my last post, (and sorry my one fan for the lack thereof). I haven't showered in two days (
ew!), and last night I cooked breakfast for dinner, because that's what we had and that's what I could cook in the 15 minutes I had while the hubby took Callie (AKA-the Pistol) out to potty. Well, I had been cravings pancakes and sausage for weeks, so it wasn't too random. But I now know what it feels like to have a child. You have to do things in the 15-30 minutes you have in between naps. No sleeping, napping, reading, catching up on The Hills, cooking fabulous Lasagna rolls that I've had the ingredients for two weeks now-none of that. It's "Quick! Take a shower." "Hurry and throw together a snack". "Fold the laundry. wait-don't get too crazy. I take that back." Not that my life revolves around the dog or anything...
We've been getting up 2-3 times a night, or rather, we've been waking up and I've been hitting the hubby to get up and take her out. And like a good boy, he does. I actually refused to take her out last night. He asked me to take her out and I said "no." Kind of half joking, and really more half serious. He actually took her out. I felt bad, for about 3 second before I drifted off to
sleepyland.
In the past 2 weeks, this has really given me an insight as to how we'll be, someday in the far far future, as parents. I don't think I'm really going to let my kids get away with too much, and for mommy's sake, there will be lots and lots of time outs when they are biting me or growling at me. God, I hope they don't bite me with their
Velocaraptor,like teeth! I don't think Mommy is going to be much fun, and this kind of bothers me. To the point where I had a meltdown the other night. I guess maybe it was
PPD. Post-Puppy Depression. She's the cutest thing I have ever seen, and I love her and miss her throughout the day. But sometimes it just gets so frustrating and overwhelming and with my lack of the oh-so-important 8-9 hours of sleep, I just meltdown myself, as does that little pistol of a pup. Both of us make for a bad combo when combined. The hubby has been more than wonderful, and as I knew he would be, a perfect papa. Which makes it even more frustrating, because he's so perfect at it while I am having a bit harder time adjusting and expecting perfection from a 9 week old bundle of fur and teeth. I guess when I'm unsure of things, or how to do something, I research the heck out of it. And so, with the puppy being a new thing, I did the same. How to housebreak, how to prevent teething on humans, how to teeth the right things, how to discipline, how to make sure they don't bark (because if they do now, they'll never stop, so "they" say.), how to assert dominance, how to drive yourself crazy because you're looking at all this how to stuff that really is pointless. I need to shut the laptop and start just doing whatever comes natural. I just get scared that if I don't break some of the bad habits now, she'll be this wild hellion that will be aggressive at a later age and end up biting someone or scaring an 8 year curly haired blond kid on roller skates, outside, on the street, and who will forever be a little scared of dogs from that point on. I thought I was over that, and I've been around some wonderful loving, fabulous dogs since then, including some that helped us decide that a Brittany puppy was right for us. (and I'm still convinced she is, don't worry, I love the little bugger.) I've fallen in love with Maddie, my parents crazy
Wheaton, and love
doggysitting her for weeks at a time when they went an traveled, and considered myself a great pseudo-mom to Maddie. But I'll admit (and this is a big admission, so don't get on my case) I guess that sometimes, I still have a littler fear left in me. Like when a dog displays aggression, I get a flashback of me getting bit at 8, or chased at 5. I get scared that the same thing is going to happen to my 2-year old niece, who currently loves dogs, and I would give anything for that not to happen. So yes, I get a little frightenedI guess I should have gone to counseling before out little one arrived!
But I do love Callie (AKA the Pistol, Callie
O'Malley, Cal, the Child, the Brat, Sweetness, Little One-the poor thing probably has no clue of her name), and I really think the hubby and I are making a great team. We're still working on compromise. I give him the "look" when he let's her up on the couch to cuddle (no dog's on the couch, sorry, not in this house), but we both snuggle her in her bed, and she loves it. When she's tired, she lunges at my laps and snuggles in my "hey, don't snuggle there!" area, and prefers to fall asleep on a lap, preferably the hubby's or mine, and both of us melt. She's already learned "sit" in a week, which proves she's totally a genius.
I think it's just adjusting to a new addition to the family. I've always seen myself as mommy material, so it's hard when I have a meltdown or get frustrated, because I didn't expect it would be this way. I didn't expect myself to get frustrated or that it would be this hard. I don't think either one of us did. But hey, welcome to parenthood. i really
don't' see too much difference between her a baby. Except babies don't try and
gnaw off their stroller when you try and take them on walks. Or do they? I'll worry about that later...right now, I have enough on my shoulders. And in my lap, falling asleep after a meltdown.
